I will be spending the next four days in Chico. I cannot explain how happy this makes me. I wish I was going with my man and we could just make love all weekend. But time with some long lost girlfriends will be wonderful. I plan to go back in June, with my most favorite group of females. The ones I am completely at home and comfortable with. I will be thinking of them this weekend, and eagerly anticipating the time for all of us to be together again. 

I’m pretty sure that I am completely unoriginal. I have thoughts that other people think. I have ideas others have already thought of. I dream of a life that is so different from my own. Some days I wish I could say “fuck it all.”  But then i am forced to look at what lies in front of me. All the reason in the world to keep going and look forward, if not for anything else but knowing there are people who judge those who give up and my underlying need to find the positive in every dark situation. I assume its the human condition. My head feels heavy. The weight is sometimes overwhelming.  The roller coaster makes me feel sick and most of the time I just wanna get off. But what fun is that? My dark corners try to dig out into the light and Im so afraid I will be found out. I have reluctance to change. I “know” all the consequences to my actions, but i fuel the fire anyway. Why? Because stepping out of my comfort zone is terrifying. I am the only one responsible for what I am, yet I still try to pass blame onto someone, or something else. I control nothing but the crazy which creeps in at the most inopportune times.

I have discovered something about life only recently. Its never what you think it should be. It happens when you’re busy making other plans. We are meant to learn something from every misjudgment, every mistake. Having lost two babies in such a short amount of time has made me appreciate who I have sitting right in front of me, but resentful of what I cannot give them. I have left many imprints, but which ones will be remembered? Which ones will I be blamed for? Which will give them comfort and peace? I have no way of knowing.  I can only try to give my best at all times. But even that, is exhausting and filled with pressure. I cry for myself. I cry for my love. I cry because its the only thing I really know how to do right and I always feel better afterwards. 

oliphillips:

Thirteen Hands - chain necklace

by Lana Woroniecka

southernsara:

(via How-To: Door Corner Shelf @Craftzine.com blog)

magnolius:

Trash sculptures/portraits by French artist  Bernard Pras - Bernard creates various portraits made entirely out of trash and found objects. Check out his site for more.

This is pretty rad!

eatsomeart:

Anatomical Cross-Sections Made with Quilled Paper by Lisa Nilsson

via

waltzingmatildablog:

A dress entirely made out of ties! Cool!

alecshao:

Paige Bradley, Expansion

actegratuit:

Scott Weaver Toothpick Sculptures

gaksdesigns:

‘Dreaming of joy’ by Ran Hwang (buttons, pins, panel)